The Real Reasons Money Stresses You Out
February 20, 2015
The Real Reasons Money Stresses You Out (Regardless of How Much You Have)a blog by Jan Bruce The APA’s 2015 Stress in America survey was released this month, and I’m curious if you recognize yourself in their findings. First, if you’re female, you’re probably significantly stressed. If you have money worries, you’re likely very stressed. If you’re a woman who has money worries, boy do you have it bad. The fact is, there’s no easy answer for money worries. Earning enough to support yourself or your family, spending what you do have wisely, saving enough for college, retirement, and more—those are serious, real concerns. But what concerns me is the 40% of survey respondents who aren’t willing or able to talk about money. Not only that, but 30% of the participants cited money as a major source of spousal conflict. You’ll never manage your financial stress peacefully if it stays taboo. That’s a perfect recipe for miscommunication, resentment, panic, fear, you name it. All of which can corrode your relationships and your resilience. You can’t build emotional support when you can’t talk about what’s killing you. At meQuilibrium, we have found that there are usually two obstacles to talking about money-related stress: iceberg beliefs and thinking traps. The good news is that both can be overcome. Your deepest beliefs about money have you stuck For many of us, talking about money falls under the catchall of “Things That Aren’t Polite,” but the source of that queasy dread you feel comes from something much deeper. The stress that’s rattling you comes from what what meQuilibrium Chief Science Officer Andrew Shatte calls an “iceberg belief.” An iceberg belief is a thought, formed early in life, about how the world works and how people behave—hand-me-down beliefs that rarely serve you. “We call them icebergs because you don’t see how much influence this belief has over your life, since most of it is submerged into your subconscious,” says Shatte. The taboo around money might come shameful or fearful beliefs like these:
- “People will judge me badly if I say I don’t have enough money.”
- “I should be better handling my about money.”
- “People will ask me for money if I talk about how much I have.”
- “People in my family just aren’t good with money and I never will be.”
Learn more useful information about stress and your health! Order our new book, meQuilibrium: 14 Days to Cooler, Calmer, and Happier, co-authored by meQuilibrium CEO Jan Bruce, Adam Perlman, M.D., Chief Medical Officer, and Andrew Shatté, Ph.D., Chief Science Officer.